


I'm Twisting Fate

by desolationbabe



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Death, Electrocution, Imprisonment, M/M, Violence, War, conversion therapy, killjoys, sort of slow burn, very gay, will probably add more tags as i go along??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desolationbabe/pseuds/desolationbabe
Summary: I had always felt immortal until a gun was pressed under my chin and I was staring death in the face. My brother and friends had made it out to safety and I was ready to greet death like an old friend.





	1. I'm twisting fate

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is super short and future chapters will definitely not be this short I just wanted to get this out there and see what the reaction is like. Also, I'm looking for a Beta if anyone is interested because I really don't want to make any mistakes with this

I had always felt immortal until a gun was pressed under my chin and I was staring death in the face. My lack of any sense of mortality had always been a laughing matter. My friends, my brother could never understand. ‘How do you feel like you’ll never die while participating in a war?’ was a common question one that I didn't have the answer too. And now? Moments from facing my doom I missed being immortal.

I didn’t feel the oncoming blast from the gun, I didn't feel anything but relief. Relief that my friends had escaped with the girl while I distracted Korse. I closed my eyes and waited to meet death like an old friend. When I opened my eyes again I was lying on a cold surface and staring a white up at a blinding light. My head felt fuzzy and I struggled to collect my thoughts. Was this the promised land?

As my head cleared and I regained more feeling in my body I realized that unfortunately, I was still alive and the best part? I was strapped to a cold metal table. I struggled against the arm and leg restrainments to no result. I looked around the room it was sterile and white, how original. The door opened and a short man wearing a white lab coat walked into the room. Upon realizing I was awake he immediately grabbed a walkie-talkie from his pocket and started speaking. ‘Way is awake, I repeat Way is awake over’ he spoke very fast and then left the room.

A few minutes later Korse walked in flanked by two draculoids grim and bald as ever. ‘Good morning way glad to see you back in the land of the living’ ‘My name is Party Poison’ I grunted out. He took two long strides towards me and punched me square in the face. I had to spit out the blood that filled my mouth. ‘No Party Poison is your rebel name we know exactly who you are Gerard Arthur Way’


	2. You know what they do to guys like me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically Gerard's thoughts and like kind of an introduction to a couple of things that are going to be explored in this story, I hope you guys enjoy!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't attempted to write fanfiction since I was like 14 so this is kind of a hard thing to get back into, but I really hope that you guys enjoy it and comment and become my friends etc I promise its going to get like interesting pretty fast. Also, future chapters will be longer I promise but I just had this on my brain and needed to get it wrote down and posted thanks!!!!

It had been 37 days. 37 days of being trapped in my own personal hell. I was able to keep track of how often I was fed, I looked forward to the tasteless mush that was pushed through my door once a day because it meant I had survived another 24 hours. They kept me alive but only just, I was losing weight and was constantly thirsty because they always gave me a little less than I needed. I think they hope it will weaken my mental state enough for them to actually get through to me. I knew it was working but I couldn’t let them see how truly weak I had become. Everything was blurred and it was even a struggle to remember my own brothers face. I missed the desert and the freedom it gave me. 

I have what I can only describe as conversion therapy once a week, things were bad enough when they were trying to brainwash me into someone other than Party Poison but they somehow found out I was gay and that doesn’t fit into their cookie cutter mold of the perfect citizen. Normally the thought of trying to change someone from being gay would have made me laugh but I’ve seen the damage these evil fuckers can do and although I would never admit it I’m pretty fucking terrified. 

Currently, I'm sitting in my cell, I have no idea what time it is but I’ve been fed today so I guess its probably the afternoon. I don't have therapy for another two days which means I'm stuck with my own thoughts for company and when you're confined to a cell and only allowed out every 3 days for an hours therapy session that's pretty much your worst nightmare. I've learned that distractions don't work anymore. At first, I would distract myself by thinking about Fun Ghoul and how happy I am that he made it out alive and how that alone made this all worth it. Eventually, my isolation ruined those thoughts, when I think about Fun Ghoul I think about all the things I left unsaid, how I never told him just how much I liked him because I knew it would mess up our friendship. My head would fill with self-depreciating thoughts of how even if I was good enough for him it would never matter due to the tiny problem of him being the definition of a macho heterosexual male. I tried to think about my brother to stop myself from going crazy over thoughts about Ghoul but that just made me feel guilty. I knew how angry he would be with me for sacrificing myself. The fights we used to have over how reckless I was with my own existence were legendary, he would accuse me of not caring if I left him behind and I would plead with him to understand that I just wanted to be the hero everyone wanted me to be and anyway it didn't matter because I was immortal and really nothing could kill me. Mikey would scoff because he knew how ridiculous it was to claim nothing could kill me, we witnessed death constantly and everyone around me felt it was only a matter of time before I was ghosted.

I let my head fall back against my cell wall with a heavy thud. I missed my red hair. Not long after I woke up they shaved my head which I secretly think is the worst thing they've done to me but most people would probably disagree after all my vanity was legendary. It was growing long again almost reaching my eyes but now it was the dull brown color I was born with and it's driving me nuts. I haven't had my hair its natural color since escaping to the desert when I was 15 dragging my little brother along. 

With nothing better to do, I sit and replay my last moments of freedom over and over in my head. I can still smell the stench of burning flesh that comes from killing with blasters and while it used to be accompanied by the euphoric feeling of winning a battle and surviving with my killjoys now it's the last thing I remember before Korse grabbed me. I knew I could distract him enough for my crew to escape. Korse hates me more than anything, I'm the one thing he hasn't been able to kill and it infuriates him. I made eye contact with Mikey and nodded towards the door before I was pushed up against a wall. I struggled against him while watching my crew walk out the door towards the trans am. I had looked Korse in the eyes as he shot me and I silently thanked some god that I've never believed in, that my crew made it out.


	3. If all my enemies threw a party

Therapy was nauseating. They always had some new technique to try change who I am and become another one of their mindless citizens or worse a brainwashed exterminator. They were barbaric like that. If they ever succeeded they knew I would be able to kill a lot of killjoys, they knew how many people depended on me in the desert, people who wouldn’t know what to think as I shot them. 

 

“Hello Gerard, how do you feel today?” Marie asked me in her established non-confrontational tone. 

 

I hated Marie. She was tiny and pretty and the only person I detested more was Korse. I took pleasure in the fact that she feared me, I could see it in her eyes. I was everything she had been taught to fear. I was nothing but a terrorist to her and I could see how hard it was for her to be in the same room as me. 

 

“I’m fucking fantastic Marie, yourself?” my smirk turns to pain as the metal bracelet they kept around my arm electrocuted me. 

“Now Gerard you know that cursing isn’t allowed you’re only hurting yourself.” 

 

I gritted my teeth and glared at her. 

 

Today's tactic was a personal favorite of mine association electrocution. Marie showed me pictures and I would say the first word that came to mind. It was always the same, pictures of my crew, my brother or pictures of the propaganda photos BLI have plastered everywhere showing the happy lives of their citizens. It was always a painful session but I could never give them the satisfaction of saying what they wanted to hear. I delighted in the disgusted face that Marie would make before schooling her expression into one of disinterest whenever I would associate Ghoul’s picture with “fuckable” before immediately being electrocuted. 

 

After the fourth electrocution, there was a tapping coming from behind the two-way mirror that looked into the room. Marie sighed and up to leave the room, fortunately leaving the door open so I could hear her conversation. 

 

“This isn’t working. Nothing is working he's just as much Party Poison as he was the day we caught him.” 

 

Marie really needed to work on whispering. I couldn’t hear whatever the person she was talking to said just that they spoke quick and angry. When Marie came back into the room she was flushed and I could tell she was trying hard to keep her annoyance under control. 

 

“A pleasure as always Marie,” I told her as I was escorted back to my cells long as they couldn’t tell I was losing my mind everything would be fine. I just had to wait for my opening. 

 

I hadn’t been to therapy for almost two weeks and I was beginning to think that maybe therapy was keeping me sane. Not speaking to another human for weeks on end does things to a man. The walk to therapy was most likely the only chance I had for escape and now it had been ripped from me. I completely, doomed to rot here until they decided what they wanted to do to me. I tried to think about what the worst-case scenarios would be. Death would be too easy I was the most wanted rebel in the whole desert they would make me suffer. 

 

I could only imagine what they wanted to do to me. The terrorist who was trying to destroy their peace in the of dangerous freedom and liberation. Probably a lobotomy just to make sure had no sense of who was before. To take away my individuality and free will was a fate worse than death in my eyes and they probably knew it. 

 

I’ve found myself to be wandering off more and more in my head with each passing day. I catch myself speaking, having conversations with the people I know I'll never see again. When I realize what I’m doing I'm forced to think about my friends and it physically hurts. It's getting hard not to resent them on some level. A lot of bad thoughts run through my head about them. They escaped and I'm stuck here and left to die? Why haven't they tried to rescue me? Do they even care how much I’m suffering at the hands of these people?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for any support received and also a massive thanks to my wonderful beta Sas and for her endless support!!! I hope you enjoy the chapter x


	4. We can steal this car if your folks don't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys!!! I am an absolute nightmare for sticking to deadlines and I'm very sorry!!! but enjoy the chapter!!

I’ve always been slightly on the suicidal side of things like sure living is great and all but throwing myself directly into dangers path to die in some awesome way that would save my friends or even better this whole horrible world? That's the only way I can see myself dying. In a complete blaze of glory. Which is why even though I died in a very badly thought through plan to save the girl in a hail of bullets (figuratively speaking since I was shot at with laser guns) I wasn’t that fussed about dying. 

I was however very confused and a little pissed off when I woke up in the desert completely disoriented, in pain and a couple of yards away from Kobra kid and jet star. There goes my perfect death the voice in my head tells me. If we still lived in a normal time I would probably be seeing a lot of professionals right about now asking all sorts of questions about why I was sad that I didn’t die. But we don't live in a normal time and survival is more important than figuring out how you can be both suicidal and want to live at the same time. 

Kobra and Jet haven’t moved since I clocked them a few minutes ago but I’ve been too busy trying to convince my legs to move. When they finally do I drag myself towards Kobra whos nearest to check if he was still alive. I did the only thing I could think to do and I slapped him very hard on his forehead because there's no way you can be alive and not wake up to that but what do I know because Jet is the medical professional. Alas! It works and I can finally breathe normally now that Kobra is staring at me with his eyes and mouth wide open about to scream but stopping himself just in time. 

“Ghoul what the fuck happened?” he instead asks and begins to sit up. 

“I have no idea but we need to see if Jet is alive and then regroup to find out what happened.” I surprise myself that I haven’t made a joke but even I can be serious once in a while. 

“Where’s Party?” Kobra asks and it takes me back because even though I’m closer to Party than I’ve ever been to anyone in my life, I didn’t even realize he wasn’t here. 

“Fuck, I don't know but we need to check of Jet” Kobra looks at me like he's half contemplating killing me but suddenly realizes I’m right so I help him up and we go to Jet. 

Luckily for us Jet in the middle of waking up and looks otherwise unharmed. None of us even has an idea about where to start. I think we’re all just lost in thought. Now that Kobra’s mentioned Party is all I can think about. It's a really bad sign that he isn’t here and all I can think about is how the last thing I remember is Party being pushed up against a wall by Korse with a gun under his chin before everything goes black. I can't stop thinking about Party being dead and suddenly the sun in the desert which I've always loved is too hot and I have to keep blinking back tears. 

As a group we decide to just start walking West and seeing where we end up because if we stay here we’ll die but everything feels hopeless anyway so I really don't see why we don't just stay sitting in the desert and let ourselves waste away. My own personal feelings for Party aside, which confuse me and also excite me a little bit, we are the most notorious group of scrappy rebels in the whole desert without a leader. 

We’ve been walking for a while and my thoughts are a repetitive cycle of thinking about Party, feeling sad about Party, feeling guilty because it was Kobras actual blood brother and he's probably in a worse state than me and then thinking about party again. I can’t help myself I’m suddenly filled with these huge regrets and I can’t stop thinking about every little moment Party and I shared. All the flirting and the tension and the fighting. I think about how easy it was to rile up the usually cool and collected infamous party poison until his face was as red as his hair. I secretly considered it my superpower because no one could get him as angry as i could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you guys like the whole franks pov bc i really enjoyed writing it and also ill be uploading again tomorrow!!! so comment and leave kudos because it makes me very very happy!!!


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